Protect Black Love

It was one of those nights when I couldn’t sleep. I sat up in my bed with my phone in my hand staring at the cracked screen.

Browsing social media was boring after a few minutes and I had watched enough YouTube videos to give me a headache. I decided to put my phone on my nightstand and turn over to try and call it a night. But my mind had other plans.

No sooner than I rolled over and closed my eyes (after looking at my husband laying peacefully to the right of me) I felt inspired.

With all that had been going on in the media and news outlets shedding light on the injustice Black people face regularly, I felt compelled to address it from the perspective of Black Love.

See, no one really talks about the struggles of Black Love and how strong of a household you must be to stay afloat. There are so many homes that are ruined due to parents being incarcerated, killed, or separated in this “game” we call life.

Yes, that’s any household. But in Black households it is much higher, and, in most cases, the issues arise by a system designed for us to fail anyway. So, when I see real Black Love, it makes me smile.

I wrote a poem titled “Protect Black Love” in my notes on my phone in as little as 5 minutes. The words came so easily to me because this was something that I felt passionately about. I have been married four years strong and our Black Love relationship has seen many tests. Yet, we are still growing and thriving together.

In my humble opinion, there’s nothing sexier than a Black man. I have nothing against men of other ethnicities, and I am all for people loving whomever their hearts desire. But that Black Magic is a wonderful thing.

I have peers and family members who have dated and even married outside of their race and everything seems magical. I mean, we have progressed as a society. Especially with the new VP having an interracial family. It’s normal now and widely accepted. Or is it?

From the stares and awkward looks that people get when they’re with a significant other or spouse of a different race, to the comments made when children are in the mix. It’s ridiculous. And most of the time, it’s the family members of the opposing races.

I’ve seen so many fall outs with friends and other relationships on social media alone with the country being torn apart from the injustice that was never realized for some, while others were fed up and outraged that the verses in “We Shall Overcome” from the 1960s still ring true in 2021.

Thinking of what transpired in many bedrooms across America over this past year, I couldn’t imagine sleeping next to someone who could not relate and not share the same pain that I felt without me having to explain.

As a culture, we can often read each other’s minds and exchange words without speaking. I suppose it can happen the same way across ethnicities in relationships as it often does with best friends and co-workers who have spent a lot of time together.

But when I see photos being taken of a White girlfriend choking her Black boyfriend in a cotton field or a White husband trying to look for reasonable explanations to unjustly killings of Black men (not realizing that his Black wife gave birth to a Black son), I get really disturbed.

Nonetheless, it was always seen as a trophy for a Black man to marry a White woman. So many athletes and singers still believe so. I recall watching an interview on YouTube where Nick Cannon mentioned this as well.

Because of this ideology, I get upset when I look a John Legend, Taye Diggs and Kanye West. I am deeply in love with all their gifts, talents, and contributions to their communities. But I just get so mad when I see their wives.

Woman to woman, I respect them and want to see all women be great in a world where women are paid less to work just as hard or twice as hard as men. It’s just the stigma surrounding the connection that I must dispute in my mind repeatedly.

The same can be said the other way around as well. Eve, Serena Williams and Tika Sumpter all have me losing my mind when I see them with their White husbands.

Mind you, I still bump that Ruff Ryders’ First Lady album to this day, and I named one of my twins after one of the greatest tennis players (male or female) to ever pick up a racket. But in the back of my mind, I wonder what Black man put this beautiful Black woman through so much (whether he was negatively influenced by his environment or not) that she “chose” to fall in love with a White man.

I even think back to the times of slavery where the masters were very fond of the young Black women and their wives enjoyed watching Black men working hard on the plantations. It makes me sick!

But that is something that I am struggling to adapt towards as an individual. Like I have said, I am not against any forms of love. Obviously, real love is not a “choice” but rather destiny to be fulfilled. So, I respect and admire “true love” in all its beauty.

However, the allegiance of Black women and Black men is a bond that yields a strength that is unmatched when the two choose to commence. Just look at Jay-Z and Beyonce’, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett, Barack and Michelle Obama, Courtney Vance and Angela Bassett, Denzel and Pauletta Washington, Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Ari Parker, and DeVon Franklin and Meagan Good. Not to mention that so many of these power couples and marriages got it out the mud without any inheritance money or “Old Money” to back them up.

So, as I watched the commercials, movie castings and media images transform from all White families to interracial families, everyone was cheering while I was confused as to how interracial marriage received its glory before Black Love.

Am I doing the most? Maybe. Or, I could just have a different view from where you are sitting. Because, from my understanding, all the shows that modeled Black Love were flagged off back in the 90s and have only recently surfaced due to an uprising of Black Lives Matter and other movements surrounding injustice lately.

I could apologize for sounding so upset and bitter, but I won’t. Only because the truth is, I am not upset or bitter, but concerned. I am concerned that our Black children will fall so in love with a utopian mindset where we are all the same and are all treated fairly to the point where “The Talk” will no longer be necessary ate age 5. And the reality that we live in will not be a reality for them until they are innocently behind bars, hospitalized, or killed.

A young Black college student in Kansas was sentenced to 12 years in prison after being convicted for raping a White girl in Kansas. He did not have sex with her, there is no evidence of rape, and an all-White jury convicted him. I bet this young man never even thought something like this could happen to him. Yet, his life is ruined.

It is important that we teach ourselves and our children to love the skin we are in. Not only that, but educate them on past, present, and future situations where injustice has occurred and can occur. We wear the masks, the shirts and support Black businesses that are popular. But what happens when being Black is no longer trendy?

See, right now, for White folks, it’s almost as if having a Black partner or spouse gives you the “OK” to say certain things or a “receipt” to prove you’re not racist. But the system has not changed.

Your Black wife will still face death in the hospital for not receiving the best care because she is known to have a high tolerance of pain. GO FIGURE. And your Black husband will still get a higher sentence for a crime he may or may not have committed because he is a threat to a society built on the backs of his ancestors. GO FIGURE.

Why is it important that we Protect Black Love? Well, if we don’t see that Black Love requires protection, it will become endangered and lose value over time. And when something is not valued, it is often disposed of.


The Poem (Audio)

In this video Queen G uses poetry to unapologetically voice her position on Black love. Look forward to more poetic vibes relating to Black culture, family, and women in the future. 💪🏾❤️

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