Have you ever wanted to just start life over?
I’ve been thinking about this topic of “starting over” for some time now. It just seems that each time I’ve thought about it, there was some sort of excuse as to why I couldn’t. Then there was the reality in the back of my mind like “Start over? There’s no reset button in life! Why are you even thinking like this?”
Well, I decided to go against that little loud voice in my head and attempt to start over anyway. Honestly, this may be my 100th time starting over as I feel like it’s an ongoing thing with Me, Myself, and I.
I can’t be the only one either. I’m sure you’ve had several moments where you reflected. Whether it be in front of the mirror or in your car sitting in silence before you walk into the house. You sit there and think about all aspects of your life; everything that is and everything that isn’t going the way you planned. The truth is, that’s where we all have it screwed up to begin with.
Somewhere along our timeline of life, we’ve failed to realize that our plan never really mattered. There’s a reason why we constantly long for control or superpowers. We refuse to come to terms with the fact that we are not and will never be in control.
Have you ever come up with an idea and had everything written down to the tea as to how you would execute it, and then something crazy happens and you’re forced to maneuver? It could be something as simple as trying to meal prep or something as complex as applying to college or deciding on a career path. Either way, you learned later that planning ahead is sometimes nearly impossible. Or rather, it’s possible, but your plans don’t always stick.
“God’s plan. God’s plan.” Drake repeats on one of his many charted singles. He even mentions people wishing bad things on him and how he doesn’t want to die for people to miss him. I feel the exact same way. Maybe you do too.
So, we tell ourselves that if we started over than we would do things differently. If we change the way we did things or switched up some of the words we spoke, then maybe things would have turned out better and people would actually see you.
I don’t know how true that is. As I’ve said, this is my 100th attempt starting over, so I’m pretty much an expert by now. But I’ve adjusted the way I view the process and would like to share a few tips with you. I’ll start by making a correction here. We cannot start over, but we can begin again. Please, continue to read my Begin Again ABCs and comment on this post with your own thoughts so that we can grow together.
A – Accept what is or isn’t!
It is what it is and it ain’t what it ain’t. The sooner you accept that, the better. We spend so much time thinking about all the things we can’t change. Sleep is lost, the scale keeps betraying us and we continue to eat the first thing we can get our hands on, and it’s killing us slowly. So many of us say that we don’t feel bad enough to commit suicide, but we make suicidal choices daily because we’re angry, depressed or both.
Some of this anger or depression comes from childhood experiences. In this post, however, I will highlight the tough decisions made in life that could cause these feelings of anger and depression.
The Conversation news journal published an article by Dr. Adrian Camilleri discussing the most important decisions that people must make in life. The categories of these decisions included family, relationships, careers, and education. With these tough decisions also came regrets later down the road.
Some people felt that they should have had children sooner/ later, some people would have chosen a different career path, some degrees would have or have not been pursued and some may or may not have taken a chance at building relationships.
Regardless of what your decisions were, they have already occurred. What went down is over and what didn’t go down is over as well. If you can make changes, then do so. If not, it’s time to stop looking back and face forward.
To accept something is to recognize it as existing or valid. Your past occurred. Recognize it. The opportunities in which you had to make decisions transpired. Recognize that. To be more candid I’ll dive into our childhood for a moment and say the decisions that others made or didn’t make for you are on record. You must recognize that all these moments in time really happened. Now, are you going to let them hold you down or hold you up?
B – Build yourself up!
If you can’t use your past and how far you’ve come as motivation, then you need to start building yourself up. How do you do that? Don’t act like I’m the only one that talks to myself. You better speak life in that mirror!
Donald Lawrence lyrics state “Sometimes you have to encourage yourself . Sometimes you have to speak victory during the test” no matter how you really feel. Contrary to the “fake it ‘til you make it” approach, which causes you to belittle yourself in comparison to others, encouraging yourself reminds you of the potential that already exists inside of you
If your gifts or talents enable you to sing or design graphics, you don’t have to pretend. All you need to do is stop acting like you can’t when you can. The only way to do that is through positive affirmations on a regular. Download an app, write messages to yourself on sticky notes around the house, or simply pump yourself up in the mirror like me. Whatever works!
The bottom line is you must be the one to motivate you. There may be others that support you or have your back, but if you don’t believe in yourself, their support is pointless. To build is to make stronger. Encouraging yourself, motivating yourself, and speaking positivity into your life is how you build yourself up. Don’t let anyone or anything make you feel less than. You are strong! You are gifted! You are more than enough!
C – Create your atmosphere!
Once you have accepted what is or what isn’t, and built yourself up, you have all you need to create your atmosphere. What type of atmosphere do you desire to have? Who is or isn’t allowed? How do you create it?
An atmosphere is the air or mood in a particular space or situation. Whatever space I share with someone or something, I want it to be peaceful. If it’s not peaceful, then me, that someone or that something has got to go. That’s just where I am in life right now and it’s been worth it.
You must decide which type of space you want surrounding you. Happy, thankful, loud, quiet, harmonious, etc. The choice is yours. To be honest though, this is a very selfish step.
If you have built yourself up to the point where you refuse to tolerate any attacks on the atmosphere or space that you desire to have around you, then it’s gonna cause you to cut some people or things off. It doesn’t mean that you must be a hermit like me on one of my many attempts to start over (my bad, begin again). But you must ask yourself if the people or the things around you contribute towards your destiny or hinder you from treading in the direction you feel life is moving you in.
This includes family, friends, people you grew up with, co-workers, classmates, photos, routines or places you visit. Be honest with yourself and others. Tell them you’re on assignment for your well-being. You don’t have the energy or the time for drama, foolishness, doubt, naysayers, opportunity blockers or dormant dreamers. It’s time to clean up your space and create your atmosphere.
If starting over were a thing, I’m sure we all would still find a way to screw it up. Just like in the movies where people go back in time to prevent something from happening. They end up causing damage to someone or something else and make matters worse. I’m far from a movie guru so if any of you have any titles to back this up, please comment below.
Nonetheless, I want to close this post by encouraging you to forget about wanting to hit the reset button or starting over. Just pick yourself up right where you left off and begin again. No, you can’t start your life over, but you can take the beautifully and wonderfully made person you are and act like you know who created you.
There is nothing wrong with you! We all make mistakes, and we all have “shoulda, coulda, wouldas” that we try to process from time to time. Let it go and move on! Holding on to what should, could or would have been is holding you back from what should, could or would be.
Accept what is or isn’t, Build yourself up and Create your atmosphere. Most importantly, take a deep breath and flow with life. Everything doesn’t have to be flawless. Our perfect imperfections are what makes us all unique. So, stop your pity party and BEGIN AGAIN as many times as you deem necessary. Not just because Queen G says so, but because your destiny is waiting for you.
Please feel free to view the following references mentioned in this video. (I am not a paid sponsor, nor do I receive any commission for clicks on the links below.)
Drake: God’s Plan: Drake – God’s Plan – YouTube
Journal Article by Dr. Adrian Camilleri: I asked hundreds of people about their biggest life decisions. Here’s what I learned (theconversation.com)
Donald Lawrence: Encourage Yourself: Donald Lawrence & The Tri-City Singers – Encourage Yourself – YouTube
Positive Affirmation Apps
- Calm – Meditate, Sleep, Relax
- Motivation – Daily Quotes
- Think Up – Positive Affirmations
A Holistic Guide to Your Potential: https://amzn.to/3mcEojY